Thursday, 22 October 2015

I Have Never Collected Bribe In My Life" - Rotimi Amaechi

By KIKELOMO IWAJOMO



The immediate past governor of Rivers State Hon. Rotimi Amaechi has just been screened by the Senate following his nomination as minister. Shortly after the Senate President Senator Bukola Saraki acknowledged receipt of his curriculum vitae, Amaechi was told to highlight his achievements as a former speaker and ex-governor. This led to the question-and-answer session when Amaechi answered questions from the senators.


Earlier the senate minority leader Senator Godswill Akpabio said the PDP senators had resolved not to ask Amaechi questions bordering on the screening, disclosing they have petitions against the nominee. The Senate Leader, Senate Ali Ndume however opposed the stance of Akpabio and the opposition,saying as a former Speaker and Governor, Amaechi could as well simply bow and go.


On his role as a former chairman of Nigerian Governors Forum(NGF), Amaechi said,"'We refined governance and repositioned leadership under my tenure as Governor.All we did in the Governors Forum was to defend the rights of Nigerians.I find it difficult to do what people want me to do, if it clashes with my principles.Nigerian politicians believe there is need for compromise but not when it clashes with my principles."



On development in key sectors, Amaechi added that: "I believe there are resources in the Niger-Delta, that is why there is Militancy.If I become the Minister for Niger Delta, the East - West Road will be first to be completed. If you invest in Agriculture & invest in Technology, you will hire as many workers as you can get. In Rivers State we established two farms.We must improve on the Social Rights of the people; if you have peace you'll have investors.Why people don't invest in Nigeria is because the cost of investment is higher than the profit' We must also invest in Education; Some of our youths are unemployable".


On corruption, he further said: "I have never collected bribe in my life.If they send a girl to you to do something for her and you sleep with the girl, you are corrupt.Corruption is difficult to define. If we keep to the rule of law, allow a Governor to function as a Governor, that will be it."

Friday, 16 October 2015

Four things you can do to make your husband love you forever



By Pastor Sophia

I feel the greatest need of wives is to be genuinely loved by their husbands. God recognises this need in wives and that's why He commanded husbands to love their wives. A wife that is loved by her husband is truly blessed, fulfilled and satisfied. She is emotionally stable and sound. It is okay to desire and confess that you are loved by your husband. Don't give up and conclude it's too much of a luxury to waste your energy and emotions on. 

Don't condition your heart to the fact that you will learn to cope with whatever measure he doles to you. Some wives even feel, it's wrong to expect their husband to love them. I want to encourage you this morning not to settle for less. At the same time, I am not suggesting you become obsessed with seeking your husband’s love by all means through ungodly ways. Some wives have become manipulative following the sensual, ungodly wisdom of this world.

There are godly principles and wisdom we can apply in our homes and marriages that will  make us as wives enjoy the undying love of our husbands. If you will believe The Lord, trust in Him and follow these simple principles, there will be restoration of genuine love in our marriages. You will no longer long for and wish for your husband's love, you will experience the reality of it.

For singles these principles are useful as your store up this wisdom to be applied later when you are married. The foundation of your marriage will be wisdom, you won't have to experience struggles in your relationship and marriage. It is not solely dependent on your husband to love you even though God commanded him to. There are also things you can do as a wife that will endear your husband to you.

1. Respect your husband
Respect is actually a virtue of the heart. It is a value system you place on your husband based on the understanding and acceptance of his headship position. Respect could be verbal, physical, and definitely attitudinal. You need to respect your own husband. That's an assignment, you must never fail at. In respecting him. You need to know what respect is for your own husband. You don't define what respect is to your husband, your husband  defines to you what respect is to him according to God’s word. 

You are to specifically ask your husband what you can do that will make him feel respected. It could be the way to talk, how you serve his food, how you take are of the home, how the kids are cared for, how you sacrifice for him, how you treat his stuffs, how you get interested in his business etc. don't assume or guess, ask him, you might be surprised at how simple things could be a big deal for your husband.
As a single lady, begin to train yourself to show respect to your fiancé. Don't think when you get married, you will change.

2. Pray for your husband
One of the greatest ways you can fulfil your assignment as a helpmeet is to pray for your husband. Be his intercessor. Pray for and about every single part of your husband's life. Nothing is too big or too small to escape your talking to God about. Pray for him when he is at his best as a father, husband and when he is doing well. Don't wait for things to get not too good before you start praying. Keep your prayer bank full and God will honour you. Your husband will also love you more. 

There are some issues that God just steps in and defend you without you having to struggle for in your marriage. It's a spiritual thing and your husband just loves you more without knowing why. I enjoy this a lot because I keep praying for my husband always. I want to recommend power of a praying wife by Stormie Omartian to all wives. Helping your husband is essentially praying for him. He is the head, you are the heart, the engine and power room. Never stop praying for him, no matter what.

3. Give your husband the honour of having the final say.
The intelligent, opinionated and strong willed wives have issues with this.
They are cholerics, goal getters and achievers. They are used to making their own decisions and sticking to it. Opposites attracted so usually, a fast and active wife will probably have a quiet, slow and steady husband. Now the challenge would be, being submissive to your husband when you consider him too slow, passive and weak. You know what, that is your opinion, but if you want to win your husband's love, you need to tuck in this opinion and obey God's instruction to submit to your own husbands disposition. 

After airing your opinion, genuinely let your husband have the last say. Remember he is the king of your family kingdom. The king’s words are never to be argued. So what if I am sure he is in the wrong, should I just look on? Not necessarily, you can pray about it but not argue. Give your husband the honour of reigning in your marriage, let him have the last say. Never drag power or usurp authority with your husband. Keep your tongue. Don't nag about issue or over flogged things.

4. Satisfy him sexually
If you are not ready to satisfy your own husband sexually, please don't marry him. A sexually starved man is an angry, frustrated, distracted man. You will be punishing him and not doing him good. The bible says, the virtuous wife does her husband good all the days of her life. Part of that good is satisfying him sexually. Some husband just get angry at their wives without seemingly no reason, buy when you dig deeper you see that they are not sexually satisfied. If you need to pray about this, do. 

Prepare your mind and body if you need to. Plan your schedule, get someone to help with some house chores, just do whatever needs to be done to fulfil this all important assignment. I am sure you don't want anyone assisting you in this area, God forbid.

For singles, there is nothing to satisfy now sexually. Wait for your time, and don’t lick hot stew before you are served thereby destroying your taste bud and jeopardising your relationship with God.

May The Lord keep your courtship or your marriages. May the wine of your marriage never get sour in Jesus Name.

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Relationship Danger Signs


Here are the seven danger signs .
1. He/she is not faithful in little things.
Unfaithfulness is a very negative sign. An unfaithful man shall not abound. An unfaithful man cannot fulfill destiny and purpose.

2. He/ she is lustful.
He or she has no moral standards. He is sexually loose. He or she is always seeking for jeru trap outside marriage

3. He/she has no fear of God.
Church membership is very different from loving and fearing God. A guy or lady that loves and fear God is a gold mine. Having regards for God is the greatest asset. The bible says it is the beginning of wisdom.

4. He/she is an habitual liar.
Like the old proverb, the person that lies will steal. A liar or deceiver is a person to run away from.

5. He/she has no vision.
Everyone has a destiny and purpose. The discovery of purpose is what becomes your vision. It's our responsibility to discover our God given purpose. A man without vision is a frustrated person and will eventually drag the other person into the frustration.

6. He/she has major character flaws.
Major character flaws are not to be ignored. We all fall into sin every once in a while but as believers, we have Gods nature and His spirit, so essentially we don't have the sin nature any longer.

7. He/she doesn't love you genuinely.
Deep, heart felt love is a decision not a feeling. Avoid a person that doesn't really love you genuinely. It takes love to be committed and stick with a person through thick and thin. How do you know if there is no genuine love? It will show in little things, in words and in actions. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Monday, 12 October 2015

Incorrectly Used Words That Can Make You Look Dumb

By Jeff Haden


Using the right word can matter. Using the wrong word can matter even more. I once lost a potential writing gig because I used "who" instead of "whom" in a proposal letter.

(And I still have trouble getting "who" and "whom" right.)

Even just one incorrectly used word--especially when you're trying to make a great impression--can ruin everything. Is that unfair? Yes... but it does happen.

To make sure that doesn't happen to you, I've collected some of the most common incorrectly used words from other posts into one epic post. (Thanks to all the readers along the way who offered their own examples, many of which are included here.)

Here we go.

Adverse and averse
Adverse means harmful or unfavorable: "Adverse market conditions caused the IPO to be poorly subscribed." Averse refers to feelings of dislike or opposition: "I was averse to paying $18 a share for a company that generates no revenue."

But, hey, feel free to have an aversion to adverse conditions.

Advise and advice
Aside from the two words being pronounced differently (the s in advise sounds like a z), advise is a verb while advice is a noun. Advice is what you give (whether or not the recipient is interested in that gift is a different issue altogether) when you advise someone.

So "Thank you for the advise" is incorrect, while "I advise you not to bore me with your advice in the future" is correct if pretentious.

If you run into trouble, just say each word out loud and you'll instantly know which makes sense; there's no way you'd ever say "I advice you to..."

Affect and effect
Verbs first. Affect means to influence: "Impatient investors affected our roll-out date." Effect means to accomplish something: "The board effected a sweeping policy change."

How you use effect or affect can be tricky. For example, a board can affect changes by influencing them and can effect changes by directly implementing them. Bottom line, use effect if you're making it happen, and affect if you're having an impact on something that someone else is trying to make happen.

As for nouns, effect is almost always correct: "Once he was fired he was given 20 minutes to gather his personal effects." Affect refers to an emotional state, so unless you're a psychologist you probably have little reason to use it.

Aggressive and enthusiastic
Aggressive is a very popular business adjective: aggressive sales force, aggressive revenue projections, aggressive product rollout. But unfortunately, aggressive means ready to attack, or pursuing aims forcefully, possibly unduly so.

So do you really want an "aggressive" sales force?

Of course, most people have seen aggressive used that way for so long they don't think of it negatively; to them it just means hard-charging, results-oriented, driven, etc., none of which are bad things.

But some people may not see it that way. So consider using words like enthusiastic, eager, committed, dedicated, or even (although it pains me to say it) passionate.

Award and reward
An award is a prize. Musicians win Grammy Awards. Car companies win J.D. Power awards. Employees win Employee of the Month awards. Think of an award as the result of a contest or competition.

A reward is something given in return for effort, achievement, hard work, merit, etc. A sales commission is a reward. A bonus is a reward. A free trip for landing the highest number of new customers is a reward.

Be happy when your employees win industry or civic awards, and reward them for the hard work and sacrifices they make to help your business grow.

Between and among
Use between when you name separate and individual items. Take "The team will decide between Mary, Marcia, and Steve when we fill the open customer service position." Mary, Marcia, and Steve are separate and distinct, so between is correct.

Use among when there are three or more items but they are not named separately. Like, "The team will decide among a number of candidates when we fill the open customer service position." Who are the candidates? You haven't named them separately, so among is correct.

And we're assuming there are more than two candidates; otherwise you'd say between. If there are two candidates you could say, "I just can't decide between them."

Bring and take
Both have to do with objects you move or carry. The difference is in the point of reference: You bring things here and you take them there. You ask people to bring something to you, and you ask people to take something to someone or somewhere else.

"Can you bring an appetizer to John's party"? Nope.

Compliment and complement
Compliment means to say something nice. Complement means added to, enhanced, improved, completed, or brought close to perfection.

I can compliment your staff and their service, but if you have no current openings you have a full complement of staff. Or your new app may complement your website.

For which I may decide to compliment you.

Continuously and continually
Both words come from the root continue, but they mean very different things. Continuously means never ending. Hopefully your efforts to develop your employees are continuous, because you never want to stop improving their skills and their future.

Continual means whatever you're referring to stops and starts. You might have frequent disagreements with your co-founder, but unless those discussions never end (which is unlikely, even though it might feel otherwise), then those disagreements are continual.

That's why you should focus on continuous improvement but plan to have continual meetings with your accountant: The former should never, ever stop, and the other (mercifully) should.

Criterion and criteria
A criterion is a principle or standard. If you have more than one criterion, those are referred to as criteria.

But if you want to be safe and you only have one issue to consider, just say standard or rule or benchmark. Then use criteria for all the times there are multiple specifications or multiple standards involved.

Discreet and discrete
Discreet means careful, cautious, showing good judgment: "We made discreet inquiries to determine whether the founder was interested in selling her company."

Discrete means individual, separate, or distinct: "We analyzed data from a number of discrete market segments to determine overall pricing levels." And if you get confused, remember: You don't use "discretion" to work through sensitive issues; you exercise discretion.

Elicit and illicit
Elicit means to draw out or coax. Think of elicit as the mildest form of extract. If one lucky survey respondent will win a trip to the Bahamas, the prize is designed to elicit responses.

Illicit means illegal or unlawful, and while I suppose you could elicit a response at gunpoint, you probably shouldn't.

Everyday and every day
Every day means, yep, every day -- each and every day. If you ate a bagel for breakfast each day this week, you had a bagel every day.

Everyday means commonplace or normal. Decide to wear your "everyday shoes" and that means you've chosen to wear the shoes you normally wear. That doesn't mean you have to wear them every single day; it just means wearing them is a common occurrence.

Another example is along and a long: Along means moving in a constant direction or a line, or in the company of others, while a long means of great distance or duration. You wouldn't stand in "along line," but you might stand in a long line for a long time, along with a number of other people.

A couple more examples: a while and awhile, and any way and anyway.

If you're in doubt, read what you write out loud. It's unlikely you'll decide, "Is there anyway (say it fast) you can help me?" sounds right. "Is there any (small pause) way you can help me?" does.

Evoke and invoke
To evoke is to call to mind; an unusual smell might evoke a long-lost memory. To invoke is to call upon something: help, aid, or maybe a higher power.

So hopefully all your branding and messaging efforts evoke specific emotions in potential customers. But if they don't, you might consider invoking the gods of commerce to aid you in your quest for profitability.

Or something like that.

Farther and further
Farther involves a physical distance: "Florida is farther from New York than Tennessee." Further involves a figurative distance: "We can take our business plan no further."

So, as we say in the South (and that "we" has included me), "I don't trust you any farther than I can throw you," or "I ain't gonna trust you no further."

Fewer and less
Use fewer when referring to items you can count, like "fewer hours" or "fewer dollars."

Use "less" when referring to items you can't (or haven't tried to) count, like "less time" or "less money."

Good and well
Anyone who has children uses good more often than he or she should. Since kids pretty quickly learn what good means, "You did good, honey" is much more convenient and meaningful than "You did well, honey."

But that doesn't mean good is the correct word choice.

Good is an adjective that describes something; if you did a good job, then you do good work. Well is an adverb that describes how something was done; you can do your job well.

Where it gets tricky is when you describe, say, your health or emotional state. "I don't feel well" is grammatically correct, even though many people (including me) often say, "I don't feel too good." On the other hand, "I don't feel good about how he treated me" is correct; no one says "I don't feel well about how I'm treated."

Confused? If you're praising an employee and referring to the outcome say, "You did a good job." If you're referring to how the employee performed say, "You did incredibly well."

And while you're at it, stop saying good to your kids and use great instead, because no one -- especially a kid -- ever receives too much praise.

If and whether
If and whether are often interchangeable. If a yes/no condition is involved, then feel free to use either: "I wonder whether Jim will finish the project on time?" or "I wonder if Jim will finish the project on time?" (Whether sounds a little more formal in this case, so consider your audience and how you wish to be perceived.)

It gets trickier when a condition is not involved. "Let me know whether Marcia needs a projector for the meeting" isn't conditional, because you want to be informed either way. "Let me know if Marcia needs a projector for the meeting" is conditional because you want to be told only if she needs one.

And always use if when you introduce a condition. "If you hit your monthly target, I'll increase your bonus," is correct; the condition is hitting the target and the bonus is the result. "Whether you are able to hit your monthly target is totally up to you," does not introduce a condition (unless you want the employee to infer that your thinly veiled threat is a condition of ongoing employment).

Impact and affect (and effect)
Many people (including, until recently, me) use impact when they should use affect. Impact doesn't mean to influence; impact means to strike, collide, or pack firmly.

Affect means to influence: "Impatient investors affected our rollout date."

And to make it more confusing, effect means to accomplish something: "The board effected a sweeping policy change."

How you correctly use effect or affect can be tricky. For example, a board can affect changes by influencing them and can effect changes by directly implementing them. Bottom line, use effect if you're making it happen, and affect if you're having an impact on something that someone else is trying to make happen.

As for nouns, effect is almost always correct: "Employee morale has had a negative effect on productivity." Affect refers to an emotional state, so unless you're a psychologist, you probably have little reason to use it.

So stop saying you'll "impact sales" or "impact the bottom line." Use affect.

(And feel free to remind me when I screw that up, because I feel sure I'll backslide.)

Imply and infer
The speaker or writer implies, which means to suggest. The listener or reader infers, which means to deduce, whether correctly or not.

So I might imply you're going to receive a raise. And you might infer that a pay increase is imminent. (But not eminent, unless the raise will somehow be prominent and distinguished.)

Insure and ensure
This one's easy. Insure refers to insurance. Ensure means to make sure.

So if you promise an order will ship on time, ensure that it actually happens. Unless, of course, you plan to arrange for compensation if the package is damaged or lost -- then feel free to insure away.

(While there are exceptions where insure is used, the safe move is to use ensure when you will do everything possible to make sure something happens.)

Irregardless and regardless
Irregardless appears in some dictionaries because it's widely used to mean "without regard to" or "without respect to," which is also what regardless means.

In theory the ir-, which typically means "not," joined up with regardless, which means "without regard to," makes irregardless mean "not without regard to," or more simply, "with regard to."

Which probably makes it a word that does not mean what you think it means.

So save yourself a syllable and just say regardless.

Mute and moot
Think of mute like the button on your remote; it means unspoken or unable to speak. In the U.S., moot refers to something that is of no practical importance; a moot point is one that could be hypothetical or even (gasp!) academic. In British English, moot can also mean debatable or open to debate.

So if you were planning an IPO, but your sales have plummeted, the idea of going public could be moot. And if you decide not to talk about it anymore, you will have gone mute on the subject.

Number and amount
I goof these up all the time. Use number when you can count what you refer to: "The number of subscribers who opted out increased last month." Amount refers to a quantity of something that can't be counted: "The amount of alcohol consumed at our last company picnic was staggering."

Of course it can still be confusing: "I can't believe the number of beers I drank" is correct, but so is, "I can't believe the amount of beer I drank." The difference is you can count beers, but beer, especially if you were way too drunk to keep track, is an uncountable total and makes amount the correct usage.

Peak and peek
A peak is the highest point; climbers try to reach the peak of Mount Everest. Peek means quick glance, as in giving major customers a sneak peek at a new product before it's officially unveiled, which hopefully helps sales peak at an unimaginable height.

Occasionally a marketer will try to "peak your interest" or "peek your interest," but in that case the right word is pique, which means "to excite." (Pique can also mean "to upset," but hopefully that's not what marketers intend.)

Precede and proceed
Precede means to come before. Proceed means to begin or continue. Where it gets confusing is when an -ing comes into play. "The proceeding announcement was brought to you by..." sounds fine, but preceding is correct since the announcement came before.

If it helps, think precedence: Anything that takes precedence is more important and therefore comes first.

Principle and principal
A principle is a fundamental: "Our culture is based on a set of shared principles." Principal means primary or of first importance: "Our startup's principal is located in NYC." (Sometimes you'll also see the plural, principals, used to refer to executives or relatively co-equals at the top of a particular food chain.)

Principal can also refer to the most important item in a particular set: "Our principal account makes up 60 percent of our gross revenues."

Principal can also refer to money, normally a sum that was borrowed, but can be extended to refer to the amount you owe -- hence principal and interest.

If you're referring to laws, rules, guidelines, ethics, etc., use principle. If you're referring to the CEO or the president (or an individual in charge of a high school), use principal.

Slander and libel
Don't like what people say about you? Like slander, libel refers to making a false statement that is harmful to a person's reputation.

The difference lies in how that statement is expressed. Slanderous remarks are spoken while libelous remarks are written and published (which means defamatory tweets could be considered libelous, not slanderous).

Keep in mind what makes a statement libelous or slanderous is its inaccuracy, not its harshness. No matter how nasty a tweet, as long as it's factually correct it cannot be libelous. Truth is an absolute defense to defamation; you might wish a customer hadn't said something derogatory about your business, but if what that customer said is true, then you have no legal recourse.

Stationary and stationery
You write on stationery. You get business stationery, such as letterhead and envelopes, printed.

But that box of envelopes is not stationary unless it's not moving -- and even then it's still stationery.

Sympathy and empathy
Sympathy is acknowledging another person's feelings. "I am sorry for your loss" means you understand the other person is grieving and want to recognize that fact.

Empathy is having the ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes and relate to how the person feels, at least in part because you've experienced those feelings yourself.

The difference is huge. Sympathy is passive; empathy is active. (Here's a short video by Bren Brown that does a great job of describing the difference, and explains how empathy fuels connection while sympathy drives disconnection.)

Know the difference between sympathy and empathy, live the difference, and you'll make a bigger difference in other people's lives.

Systemic and systematic
If you're in doubt, systematic is almost always the right word to use. Systematic means arranged or carried out according to a plan, method, or system. That's why you can take a systematic approach to continuous improvement, or do a systematic evaluation of customer revenue or a systematic assessment of market conditions.

Systemic means belonging to or affecting the system as a whole. Poor morale could be systemic to your organization. Or bias against employee diversity could be systemic.

So if your organization is facing a pervasive problem, take a systematic approach to dealing with it -- that's probably the only way you'll overcome it.

Then and than
Then refers in some way to time. "Let's close this deal, and then we'll celebrate!" Since the celebration comes after the sale, then is correct.

Then is also often used with if. Think in terms of if-then statements: "If we don't get to the office on time, then we won't be able to close the deal today."

Than involves a comparison. "Landing Customer A will result in higher revenue than landing Customer B," or "Our sales team is more committed to building customer relationships than the competition is."

Ultimate and penultimate
I once received a pitch from a PR professional that read, "(Acme Industries) provides the penultimate value-added services for discerning professionals."

As Inigo would say, "I do not think it means what you think it means."

Ultimate means the best, or final, or last. Penultimate means the last but one, or second to last. (Or, as a Monty Python-inspired Michelangelo would say, "the Penultimate Supper!")

But penultimate doesn't mean second-best. Plus, I don't think my PR friend meant to say her client offered second-class services. (I think she just thought the word sounded cool.)

Also, keep in mind that using ultimate is fraught with hyperbolic peril. Are you -- or is what you provide -- really the absolute best imaginable? That's a tough standard to meet.

And now for the dreaded apostrophes:

It's and its
It's is the contraction of it is. That means it's doesn't own anything. If your dog is neutered (the way we make a dog, however much against his or her will, gender neutral), you don't say, "It's collar is blue." You say, "Its collar is blue."
Here's an easy test to apply. Whenever you use an apostrophe, un-contract the word to see how it sounds. Turn it's into it is: "It's sunny" becomes "It is sunny."

Sounds good to me.

They're and their
Same with these: They're is the contraction for they are. Again, the apostrophe doesn't own anything. We're going to their house, and I sure hope they're home.

Who's and whose
"Whose password hasn't been changed in six months?" is correct. Use the non-contracted version of who's, like, "Who is (the non-contracted version of who's) password hasn't been changed in six months?" and you sound a little silly.

You're and your
One more. You're is the contraction of you are. Your means you own it; the apostrophe in you're doesn't own anything.

A local nonprofit in my area once displayed a huge sign that said, "You're Community Place."

Hmm. "You Are Community Place"? No, probably not.

For The Ladies!! Read and Be Wise...

By Pastor Dunamis


There are a few things you need to know about men. Men have certain needs. When a man had a relationship with God, he is better able to handle those needs as it relates to his fiancee or wife. 

What does a man want? Let’s consider a few of them.

1. He wants his ego massaged constantly
2. He wants to be respected
3. He wants to be satisfied sexually
4. He loves good food
5. He is moved by sight
6. He needs to be prayed for

7. He needs help

1. He wants his ego massaged constantly
Never try to crush a man’s ego.

Let me give you a sample. You and your husband are dining along side another couple. The other lady goes like, ‘one thing I like about my husband is that he is so patient with me, always available to even help me out in the kitchen most times” And then, you go like, “You are so lucky! My own husband? He is so lazy and behaves like an impatient drone. Rather than for him to help me out on the kitchen, he prefers to sit down playing cards with little kids like a deranged man. I wish he is like your husband…you are so lucky o.” This looks like an extreme example, but anything like this, you have just finished the man, he would look for ways to finish you as well, because you just crushed his ego publicly! A man’s ego is so important to him that even if you try crushing it in privacy when you are alone, he will react immediately, not to talk of openly. It is not the way to go.

2. Be ready to respect him
If you are a lady, and your song is ‘he never listens to me,’ I can tell you what is happening. Somewhere in his mind, he believes you are disrespectful.’ So any attempt to make contributions he flares up! You know why? He sees your contributions as trying to usurp his authority and he shuts you down or ignores you. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, rather than fight back or withdraw in frustration, try making adjustments in how you respect him, even in your choice of words and tone of voice, it all matters.

But Pastor, he doesn’t love me, why should I respect him? The instruction in Ephesians 5 is not a 50-50 contract. It’s a 100% instruction. You are not to respect him because he loves you, you are to submit to him because he is your husband. The same goes for men, you don’t love your wife because she respects you, you are to love her because she is your wife. When couples starts seeing it this way, they will be amazed at the changes that will take place in their marriage!

Now, listen to this, if you are so independent and you are not ready to respect and submit to your husband, you are not ready for marriage! It doesn't matter whether you earn more than him or whether you are more travelled, he remains the head of the house. There cannot be two heads in the house, any two headed creature is a monster. This is how God instituted it, and that is how it is going to work.

For singles in courtship, here is what you need to know. Never ever try disobeying God in any way because you want to respect your fiancé. For example, he asks you to come over and spend the weekend with him while you are not yet married. You have every right to disagree on that because you and I know what that would lead to.

3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually
Young wives, you need to know that sex in not a tool for punishment or reward. When he is nice and has bought something for you, you cooperate with him. When he has not been nice, you start singing ‘my head, my shoulder, my knees, my toes, they all are paining me! That is not fair! Well, the scripture admonishes couples, ‘defruad ye not one another!’ The scripture calls it a fraud when you deny one another without genuine reasons! And really, genuine reasons should only come up once in a while!

Why is sex so important to men? It is because of their wiring, it is not their fault. However, the scripture makes it clear that sexual relationship should only be with your spouse, not with a colleague or somebody you met in a one nightstand somewhere! The consequences of adultery are debilitating. It comes with agony and regret!

Protect your marriage by enjoying each other and never denying each other. For a lady, it is more than a physical work out, it is an emotional thing for her, so when she is hurt, she may not be able to release herself. This is why it is important to forgive easily and let go…because you are still one! It is also why you should treat your wife gently and be caring!

For the singles, you are not to satisfy anybody until after marriage. You can put forth all kind of lame excuses why it should happen but that is not God’s order. If you are going to have God’s support, favour and help in this life, then you had better do it God’s way. And I really don’t think anybody wants to live without God’s support, favour and help in this life. Those are what would distinguish and make a difference in your life.

If as a married couple, you are already involved with adultery or with pre-marital sex as a single, it is never too late to ask God for forgiveness and turn around in your ways. That is how not to delay yourself or slow yourself down.

4. He loves good food
A wife should be a good cook, but she doesn't have to cook all the time, except in this age where a woman is even becoming more of a career person than the husband. There must be balance here, because both the husband and the wife have gone to work and they are both tired at the end of the day. 

Yes, house-helps may help but don’t allow house helps to take over your kitchen, serve your husband while you sit down and relax. That is some carelessness, especially when you know that your husband likes fair ladies and your house-help is fair in complexion!

Try as much as possible to serve your husbands yourself or let your husband serve himself if you are not around. Those are just some few tips to protect yourself against the constant vicissitudes of life. This is very important. If your husband lacks self-control or has no fear for God, and you are not always around, and there is a young girl at home, that is like setting you house on fire!

Don’t be like the lady who got married and for days they were just eating out. After a while the husband got tired and requested for Amala. (A Nigerian local delicacy). So the pot of water is on the cooker, and she calls her mum to ask, ‘Mum the pot is on the fire now, at what point do I add the yam powder?

5. He is moved by sight
Dress for your husband at home. This is because men are moved by sight. They are moved by what they see, including anointed men and apostles and popes!

Don’t be like a lady who is so busy tied up in a wrapper and that was the last picture her husband saw before leaving for work. By the time he comes back, she is back in the wrapper trying to get food ready! Meanwhile, at work, she is accosted by this delectable, adorable and impeccably dressed secretary every morning who is saying ‘I am available’ with her body language! If the guy doesn’t’ know what he is doing or is brainless like Message translation says concerning adultery, he will simply mess up. It is okay to tie wrappers if that is what your husband wants, but there is lingerie out there you can get! Dress cute for your husband at home and learn to set him in the mood. He likes that, he may not verbalise that, but I am helping him to do that now.

Singles, watch what you wear to your fiancée’s house. Don’t kill the guy; let him fulfill destiny! You are going to see him so that you can pray together by 9.00pm in a mini skirt? How will he pray? The eyes will be turning red, the tongues will change and you will think it is the anointing?

Men can lose their temper, temperature and temperament altogether when they see a beautiful lady! Men, can you bear me witness? It doesn't matter whether he is single or married! For every man, there is always fire down there!

6. He needs to be prayed for
Pray for your husband. Don’t let your early years in marriage be characterized with quarrels and hurts and wounds. You will slow yourself down that way. Yes, he is not a good man, he is not caring, he is not loving, she is not submissive, she is not respectful…but you are married! You are one in God’s eyes. You need each other’s agreement; you need each other’s prayers! Pray for him from the depth of your heart and support him, don’t close up your spirit on him because of some issues…support him. Never open your mouth to curse him; it would be like cursing yourself because you are one!

7. He needs help
You are a helper. There are only two people referred to as ‘helper’ in the whole of Genesis to Revelation. That is the Holy Spirit and your wife!

That is why you have been told never to grieve the Holy Spirit and never to be bitter with your wife. That is why you don’t lift your hand against your helper! Ladies, be there to help him succeed. Support his endeavours.

Don’t let your mouth be too fast, because ladies can talk a lot! 


Singles, you help your fiancée when you refuse to compromise. You are not helping him when he says ‘let’s kiss baby, and you too submit your lips for the next two hours like you are submitting a paper in the exam hall! Tell him, if you are hungry, you go by Ponmo or some cow-hide in the market, you are not chewing my mouth! These lips are reserved till marriage! The power of life and death lies in your mouth, after wedding, if you like, you can kiss for two weeks non-stop, even the angels will be clapping for you!

Conclusively, you will never be able to ‘insure’ any relationship or ‘keep’ a man through compromise. Your body is not a commodity to trade; it is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect your body and don’t trade it around because God puts a lot of value on your body and on your person!

Friday, 9 October 2015

I Do Not Love My Wife As Much As My Ex - Husband


I got married two years ago when I hadn’t completely fallen out of love with my ex-girlfriend. I met my wife on the rebound after my ex left me for another man. But the relationship didn’t work out and she’s started e-mailing me.

My wife is kind, gentle and a good company, but I now realize that my ex is the love of my life. My marriage is currently childless. What should I do?

Wednesday, 7 October 2015

See Lady Who Stole Baby to Sell In Order To Raise Money For Her Bride Price


The Lagos State Police Command on Tuesday paraded Onyebuchi Jennifer, who was arrested in Anambra State for stealing a baby in Lagos State.

She said she stole the baby in the Ajegunle area of Lagos and fled to Anambra State so that her lover could pay her bride price and marry her.

The 26-year-old added that she had lied to her lover in Okija, Anambra State, that the baby was the fruit of their relationship.

PUNCH Metro had reported on Tuesday that the police arrested Jennifer for allegedly stealing the nine-month-old baby and fleeing with him for four days to Okija, Anambra State.

It had been reported that Jennifer, who also hails from Anambra, had befriended the baby’s mother, Aina Adetola, for about two weeks, before she carried out the act on Saturday, September 26.

Speaking with PUNCH Metro, Jennifer, who claimed to be an orphan, said she got started living with the man in Anambra State in October 2014, adding that he refused to pay her bride price until she had a child for him.

The suspect, who said she came to Lagos in June 2015 to look for a way to get pregnant, added that she took the baby to her lover to convince him to pay her bride price.

She said, “My mother died when I was in primary five. My father had died a few years earlier. My parents had two of us; but a few years ago, my elder sister died during childbirth. So, I was left alone in Anambra State without any relation.

“I gave birth to a child in 2010, but he died after six months. Last year, I met a man who promised to marry me after I had had a child for him.

“We started living together in October 2014. I was pregnant, but after three months, I had a miscarriage. I was troubled, and started running after traditional doctors and hospitals, but to no avail. I decided to come to Lagos to work and find a way to get a baby. I came to Lagos in June 2015.

“So, I came to the Ajegunle area and I got a job as a fuel attendant. While I was working, I met the baby’s mother and we became friends.

“On that Saturday, I went to her shop, which was near the filling station. I said I was going to the Boundary area to buy an item and I would carry her baby with me. She did not object. So, I took the baby from her, and boarded a bus to Anambra State to meet my lover.”

Jennifer added that she bought baby foods to keep the boy healthy after lying to her lover that the baby was theirs.

She said, “I did this so that he could pay my bride price and marry me. I did not tell the baby’s mother that I was taking him to Anambra. We left on Saturday and got to my place on Sunday. I had the intention to bring the baby back after my bride price had been paid. I lied to my husband that I had been pregnant before I left and gave birth to the baby while in Lagos.

He believed me, and I took good care of the baby for four days before the police showed up in our apartment.

“My lover immediately dissociated himself from me. He had not paid the bride price before the police arrested me.”

Speaking with PUNCH Metro, the boy’s father, Adeniyi Adetola, said he was glad to be reunited with his child, adding that the police did a good job for his family.

He said, “We are taking the boy to the hospital for further treatment today (Tuesday). The mother and I are happy to have our baby boy back. The baby is my second child, and I appreciate the police for doing a good job on this case. I also appreciate God.”

The Commissioner of Police, Fatai Owoseni, said the command would not tolerate criminals in the state.

“The command is doing all it should to bring crimes to the barest minimum, and we want the general public to always avail us of information to be able to do this,” he added.